Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
