time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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