I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
