I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
