Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
