We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize