either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
