super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
