Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
