Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize