Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
