Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
