hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
