Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
