If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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