You work out of a Hotel?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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