U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize