my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize