i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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