she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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