Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize