Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize