He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
