I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
