We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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