what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
