Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
