woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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