I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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