okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
