I got chris browned last night
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
