Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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