I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
