Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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