I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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