Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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