I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
