well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
