biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
