I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
