why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
