So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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