whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm like, not good at living.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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