he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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