he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you never un-have a 4some
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
