well I can't set my house on fire every night
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
only if we run a train.
done.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
