ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
