My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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