Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Randomize
