A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
