I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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