how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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