# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
