forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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