Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
