Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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