That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize