I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
