Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
