Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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