well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Houston, we have a squirter
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
