so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
