Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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