Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
